


caught in between

by waveydnp



Series: phan bingo 2018 [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010 Era (Phandom), Canon Compliant, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 10:14:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: dan wants to top, but phil doesn’t want to bottom. they find a compromise





	caught in between

Phil’s not used to feeling like this yet. It’s not yet sunk in that this isn’t a fling, these aren’t fleeting emotions. The way he feels is the exact same way Dan feels, and they’re allowed to feel it out loud when it’s just the two of them because…

Dan is his boyfriend. His _boyfriend_. They kiss and touch and have sex and tell each other they love each other. They buy each other gifts and miss each other when they’re not together. 

They’re making plans for the future. Is it too soon? Phil doesn’t know. He’s never had a boyfriend before. He doesn’t much care about rules anyhow. All that matters to him is how he feels when Dan’s around and it’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before.

He feels electric. When Dan smiles, he can’t help but smile too, dimples inspiring a wealth of warmth and swirling excitement with every grin. Even when he’s alone he doesn’t really feel alone anymore; Dan is always just a text or DM or skype call away, and always they’re counting down the days to the next visit.

When Dan touches him, like he is now, his stomach flips and his skin flushes and the blood rushes down with embarrassing efficiency. 

It’s cold outside. They can hear the wind whistling against the window and the light is dull and grey and Phil’s mum is out at the shops and he’s a grown man who can do what he wants but he still likes to wait until the house is empty to… well. To do _this_.

To pull each other’s clothes off like their lives depend on it and fall onto the bed, hands groping and squeezing and mouths eager to taste the other. Dan is so bold and Phil is so swept up in it that he forgets to be nervous. He’s older but in many ways it feels the opposite. 

Dan dives in. He’ll agonize over decisions but once they’re made he barrels ahead like a train, like he did that day in October when a giant wheel took them up into the sky and Phil kissed back into something he’d hoped for but had been too afraid to expect.

Dan hadn’t asked. Dan kissed him like he was sure. It was short and sweet, but sure. The kisses now are deep and wet, hot and heavy and everything that makes Phil’s head spin. The fear Phil had felt then is gone now, replaced with something big and important and wonderful. 

They make the most of these visits, learning each other’s minds and bodies in a way that feels too easy to be random chance. It doesn’t matter that it’s only been a few months since they made things official. It doesn’t matter that his friends tell him it’s way too fast. They don’t know. How could they possibly know. 

Dan’s on top of him now, naked and gorgeous, biting Phil’s neck and pushing his legs open to fit between. 

“I want you,” Dan pants. “Phil, I want you.” He reaches down and grabs a handful of Phil’s ass, squeezing hard and rough and Phil laughs. 

“Can I?” Dan asks, and this time there’s an unmistakable vulnerability in his voice.

Phil hadn’t understood but now he does and his heart is pounding, because oh - the fear is back. The fear of something new, something he hadn’t been prepared for at all.

“You want to?” Phil croaks. 

Dan buries his face in Phil’s neck, sliding against sweat and spit where Dan had sucked a bruise or two just a moment ago. “Fuck. I want to so bad.”

“I didn’t— I’ve…” Phil takes a breath into his aching lungs. “Never done that before.”

“I know.” Dan slides a finger between Phil’s cheeks and over his hole and Phil shivers. Whether it’s fear or arousal or some combination of the two, he’s not even sure. 

What he does know is that Dan had given himself to Phil in this way without hesitation, even when Phil pushed in too fast the first time and Dan had to gasp and grit his teeth for the pain. Dan would do anything Phil asked and Phil knows that, so how could he say anything but yes now?

“Ok.”

“You sure?” Dan’s hand moves up to squeeze Phil’s dick. 

Phil’s head spins. It helps a little. He nods and says, “I’m scared a bit.”

“I’ll be gentle,” Dan promises. 

“Gentler than I was,” Phil says, trying to cover the nerves with humour.

Dan laughs, reaching for the lube. “Gonna use my fingers first, k? Just like you do to me.”

Phil nods, letting Dan push his legs open wider. He can already feel himself tense and clenching, so he takes himself in hand and hopes it’ll calm him down.

It’s not like he hasn’t touched himself like that before - he has. It’s not even that he hasn’t enjoyed it. It’s just that fingers and cocks are not the same, and he’s only ever had his own fingers. 

He hears the bottle lid pop open and then the whooshing of his pulse in his ears. Dan’s fingertip is blunt and slippery and circling Phil’s rim, waiting for Phil’s body to relax enough to push inside.

Phil tries to breathe. He looks at Dan’s face and waits to feel the comfort he normally feels when they touch each other. This is different, but really it’s all the same, isn’t it? What makes this so different?

Instead of relaxing he just feels himself getting tenser. His heart is beating so fast he feels sick. 

They hadn’t planned this. They hadn’t even ever discussed it and he really doesn’t think he can do this. It’s too much too fast and Dan’s cock suddenly looks huge stood up hard and flushed red at the tip between his legs. 

“Wait,” Phil croaks. He can’t do it. He knows he can’t.

“What’s wrong?”

Phil’s face is hot, his throat thick with disappointment and embarrassment. “I don’t… I can’t.” His voice trembles. He clears his throat. “I can’t do it.”

“Oh.” Dan sits back on his heels. 

Phil can’t look at his face. He turns over on his side and pulls his legs up into a ball and he wishes he could just disappear. He feels ashamed and exposed and weak and selfish and he doesn’t want to cry but he thinks he’s about to do just that.

Then there is warmth and tacky skin pressing against his back and he can feel Dan hard against his asscheek. Dan’s arm locks across his chest and his lips are on Phil’s ear whispering, “I’m sorry, Phil. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Phil grabs Dan’s hand and squeezes it. “You should’ve. You should always ask me for what you want. Maybe you should ask for a better boyfriend.”

“No such thing.”

Phil stays quiet.

“Phil, hey. I’m sorry ok. I shouldn’t have sprung that. I just… I’m sorry. I just got carried away and like… I really wanna fuck you very badly, but it’s fine. I only want it if you want it and it’s ok that you don’t. I’m not upset. Please don’t you be upset. We can do it any way you want.”

“I want to give you what you want, I just… I think I need like, more time? To get used to the idea.” He can feel Dan nodding against his shoulder blade. He can also feel that Dan is still hard.

Still hard and kind of rolling his hips into Phil’s ass, pressing soft little kisses to the nape of his neck. Phil actually giggles. He can feel his mood shift instantly. Dan is _such_ an eighteen year old.

“Phil?”

“What?” Despite the emotions of not but thirty seconds ago Phil already feels turned on again at the way Dan just _wants_. He’s so straightforward and unpretentious in his desire for Phil that it quickly erases the fear that came before.

“Can I try something else?” Dan asks. “I promise I won’t go inside.”

“You have an idea?” 

Dan nods.

“Ok.” He trusts Dan. With everything he has he trusts this boy. He hears the lube cap pop open again and feels Dan’s hand, slick and warm and broad wedging between Phil’s thighs and rubbing wetness there. 

“What are you doing?” Phil asks softly. It feels foreign and even tickles a little but he doesn’t want Dan to think he’s laughing at him. 

“M’gonna fuck you without actually fucking you,” Dan murmurs, and Phil can tell from the way his hand is moving that he’s stroking his cock. Phil doesn’t quite know what’s happening, but he can guess and he’s not afraid anymore.

“Can you straighten your legs out but like, keep them together?” Dan’s voice is husky like it only gets when they’re doing stuff like this. “Maybe like, hook your ankles together?”

Phil does just that, stretching his feet out towards the bottom of the mattress and crossing his feet at the ankles. Dan’s hand grips Phil’s hip and then Phil feels Dan hard and soft pressing himself into the sticky slick space beneath his ass.

“You’re gonna fuck… my legs?” Phil asks incredulously. 

“Mhm.” Somehow Dan already sounds like he’s enjoying it. 

“Is that even… does that even feel good?”

Dan thrusts in slowly and pulls back, dropping his forehead onto Phil’s shoulder and pushing in again. “It feels _really_ good.”

“How did you even know to—”

“Phil shush,” Dan hisses, digging his fingers into Phil’s skin. “I’m trying to fuck you, remember?”

“Yeah but— ah. Oh. Oh.”

Dan chuckles against Phil’s back. He’s shifted his hips upward so his cock drags against Phil’s taint with every thrust and it actually feels kind of… good. Not nearly enough to get him off but enough that the sensations mixed with the knowledge that Dan feels good have him pushing back to help Dan get a proper rhythm going.

It starts to feel like sex, and a kind where Phil doesn’t have to face anything scary just yet. He clenches his quads and squeezes his thighs tighter together and Dan groans. “You’re evil.”

“It’s good though, yeah?” Phil asks, a hand drifting down to wrap around his own dick and stroke lazily as Dan breathes hot on his neck.

“So good, so good,” Dan murmurs as he rocks in and out, still holding onto Phil’s hip to help the motion. Phil closes his eyes and focuses on the way it feels for their bodies to come together in this new way. 

He gets lost in listening to Dan and letting himself be exactly what Dan’s body wants. The usual urgency of sex with Dan is muted like this, and it feels nice just to be rocked back and forth as Dan chases what he needs to feel close to Phil in the ways Phil is comfortable with for now. 

Dan bites at the meaty bit of Phil’s shoulder and mumbles something there, shaking Phil from his reverie.

“What?” Phil asks. He’s not really listening anymore and he’s got no concept of how much time has passed. He can feel sweat on his back, his muscles starting to ache from arching his lower back to give Dan the best angle. Every once in a while the head of Dan’s cock will rub hard enough in the right spot and Phil will feel a warm tingle run up into his gut. 

“Gonna come soon,” Dan repeats, clearer this time.

“Yeah,” Phil says, tightening his fist around himself and starting to quicken the pace. “Good.”

Dan hooks his arm across Phil’s chest and starts proper fucking and it’s so new and hot and assertive that Phil decides in this moment that he wants to try it the other way. The real way. Eventually. 

Dan’s chest crushes against Phil’s back and he’s panting and moaning right up against his ear as he thrusts in and out and Phil tries to keep that space as tight as possible but he’s distracted by how hot and wet and immediate everything feels, how good it feels just to wank himself knowing soon Dan’s going to come right between his legs. 

Dan comes with a few stuttered jerks and a louder groan and Phil feels warmth and the stickiness between his legs and under his balls and it’s surprisingly dirty in the best kind of way. Dan’s still shuddering out the aftershocks and Phil is wanking hard and fast now, replaying Dan’s noises in his head over and over as the feeling builds.

Dan is slack behind him, but Phil still rolls backwards half on top of him right before he‘s about to peak. “I’m gonna—” is all he can choke out and somehow Dan’s mouth is on him when he comes, catching everything and closing his lips for a burst of suction that makes Phil yelp. 

They both lie there for a while afterwards, sweaty and tangled up and chests heaving.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Phil mutters when he can actually breathe again. “I know you don’t like the taste.”

“You like it when I do that though,” Dan says, like that should be enough explanation on its own.

“I like everything we do together.”

“Even this?” Dan asks.

“It was fun,” Phil says, rolling over onto his side and flopping his arm over Dan’s waist. “Can I do that to you next time?”

“I mean, you can if you actually want to but like… I’d rather you just fucked me, honestly,” Dan says bluntly.

“Really? It actually feels good for you?”

Dan frowns. “Yeah? Course it does. You think I’ve been faking this whole time or something?”

Phil shrugs the best he can while he’s laid out on his side. “I guess to me it seems a bit scary.”

“Well we don’t have to do it like that. But I like it when you do it to me. It legitimately feels nice.”

At that moment they hear Phil’s parents outside. Phil groans. “I need to shower.”

Dan shoves at him playfully and pulls Phil’s duvet up over his naked body. “Go. I’ll wait here.”

“You have to get dressed,” Phil warns. “Just in case.”

“I will,” Dan promises. There’s a single little chunk of his fringe stuck to the sheen of sweat on his forehead and starting to curl.

“And later we’ll talk more,” Phil says. “Ok?”

Dan nods and then smiles. “Go wash my jizz off your balls, Lester.”


End file.
